Helping Parents Get the Conversation Started

All children need information about sex and growing up. They need to hear about it from their parents. Children whose parents talk to them about sex make better choices later on.

But it’s not always easy to talk about sex. As a health care provider, you can help parents who wonder where to start. Remind parents that they don’t have to be an expert.  Encourage them to relax and learn with their children. Here are some suggestions you can give the parents you serve in your health care setting.

Start now. The earlier you start, the easier it is.

Let parents know that it’s never too late. Encourage them to give their children the information they need in a way they can understand it.  You can help give them the tools, information, and encouragement they need.

Explain how things work.

Remind parents that when kids are about 8 or 9 years old, they are very interested in how things work. It’s a great age to explain how babies are made and other details about growing up – before their bodies start changing. 

Encourage parents to use the right name for body parts and to explain things in a direct way.  Parents can practice in a mirror until it becomes easier to talk about without feeling embarrassed. 

Don’t wait for your children to bring it up.

Children will take their cues from their parents. If parents don’t bring up the topic, children may not feel comfortable about asking.

Tell the parents you interact with: ”By talking with your children, you’ll be building trust and closeness. That way, when they need help and guidance as teenagers, they’ll come to you.”

Use everyday things to start the conversation.

Give parents example of these everyday occurrences:

• She may tell you something she heard at school.
• He may talk to you about a problem a friend is having.
• Someone you know may be having a baby.
• The two of you may hear a song on the radio.

Find the answers you need. Use resources in your community.

• Encourage parents to go to the public library.  Give them a list of books that you’ve found to be helpful. 
• Remind parents they can look things up on the internet. They can start with sites like www.talkwithyourkids.org and  www.teensource.org.
• Find out about workshops in the community that may be helpful to the parents you serve.  Perhaps your agency may want to consider sponsoring parent-child communication workshops.  Or such workshops may be offered by local schools or faith-based organizations in your community.
• Give parents pamphlets and information sheets that might be helpful.  You can find free downloadable information sheets at www.talkwithyourkids.org